Back To Christian
Justin sits upon the jagged rock. Waves crash against him. His feet ache from the icy water. Tears fall from his baby blue eyes. He tries to wipe them away to prevent his cheeks from turning red, but the wind already accomplished that.
Justin sighs, moving outward in the water to board the sailboat. He snatches fleece and puts it on, as the boat sails off.
He hums to the tune of sailing by Christopher Cross. A slight smile appears, but vanishes quickly. Justin finds a place to dock the sailboat, while he rests.
He closes his teary eyes, drifting off to sleep, waking with the sun beating down on his body.
An African American woman stands in front of the sailboat. Her long brown hair flows down the back of her neck, with a beautiful necklace, like the one he wears, with the god like creature.
His eyes quickly meet her soothing brown eyes, and warm facial expression. She bends down noticing the hurt on his face, asking if he is ok.
Justin quietly replies: I'm not sure. Something terrible happened, that can never be changed.
Justin bursts into tears. He didn't care if people stare. He knows that sailing away from his problems isn't going to solve them, but is afraid to go back.
The woman he loves dearly left him for someone else, and took his son away. "Christian, Daddy loves you!" he screams. "How dare she take my baby away, and cheat on me. How could I have been so blind?”
The woman grasps Justin's arm, lightly tugging it, getting him in a standing position, wrapping her caring arms around him, gently rocking Justin, as his head lay on her shoulder. "You'll get him back!”
“I know how it is. My husband walked out on me, and took my son, Tyler. Tyler didn't understand when his father asked if he wanted to be with him. Tyler didn't know it would be everyday, and would never see me again. I received a call from Tyler, and he wouldn't stop crying. It had to have been the most difficult thing in my life to deal with. His father is far from responsible. It almost cost my son's life. I'll never forgive him for taking Tyler, but now my baby's back.
Justin snaps, "That jerk neglecting a child! How can people do this crap? My heart is in pieces, because my little boy is some where out there. I just want to get away from it all, maybe just end all the pain!"
Justin rushes home, and goes inside. There's a message on the answering machine. It's Christian. Justin falls to his knees as he listens to his little boy’s heart broken voice.
Justin saves the message, replaying it, again, and again, just so he can hear Christian.
He waits by the phone day and night in hopes he'll call again. Two weeks later Christian calls! "Hi there Christian!"
"Daddy, I miss you! Mommies mean!"
"What'd she do to you, Baby?"
"She took away music toys. Said they mind her of you. I like them, Daddy. Mommy spanked me last I called!" Why?"
"Daddy she don't want you to peak on her."
"Oh you're playing hide and go seek."
"Yes Daddy! No peek!"
"The game should be over by now!"
"Not what Mommy says!
"Tell Daddy where you are?"
"J......." the phone goes dead.
Justin sits down at the piano and begins to play, like he never had played before, something so emotional, and then words start coming out of his mouth. He writes the lyrics down on a piece of paper, and practices the song with the melody.
Written and composed by Justin Randal Timberlake.
Innocent voice makes me want to go your way.
Daddy has been crying every day.
Remember when, I held you in my arms.
Swore, I would keep you from all harm.
Have Daddy's baby blues,
And those golden curls too,
A captivating smile,
That could go on for miles.
Can't help, but cry.
I'm questioning why,
Mom took you away?
In my heart you'll stay.
I can't help but cry,
This pain's killing me inside.
I can’t get by.
This won't be the last goodbye.
Daddy truly misses you.
And all that you do.
This is to remember me,
And to set your heart free."
Justin records his song "Cry," and begins work on a video for the soon to be hit video and song.
In the black and white video Justin begins by sitting on his bed flipping the pages of a family scrapbook. Tears start to fall on the pictures. He closes his eyes, and visually you see what he sees. Numerous photographs appear on the screen, from holding his son after he was born, to his son's mainly milestones up until his first birthday.
Justin's eyes open. He walks down the dark hall to the piano, where candles glow, enough so he can play the piano. Christian’s picture with his father sits above the piano, near the numerous candles.
The melody it's self is powerful enough to make the strongest person cry. His heartache shows as he sings softly, holding back the tears. Justin carefully stands up blowing all but one candle out.
He speaks gently to his son, Christian,” I left but one candle for you. All these others aren't the ones that guide me. I've been lighting a candle every night lately, to help me through this storm. This candle represents you Christian, because you keep me going. I hope you know how much Daddy loves you."
Justin slowly walks away, leaving the one candle near his son's photograph. The last thing you see is the youngster with Justin, as the candle shines on their smiling faces!
Justin wins several awards for his video, and song. This brings short happiness. The truly rewarding thing he wishes for has not come, yet.
Justin sings himself to sleep, fighting the tears, desiring something he can't have. He dreams of the day he'll see his son again. He awakes as teardrops stream down his face. Justin's body trembles.
He's run down from the lack of sleep. His face almost matches the blanket that covers him. Justin's body makes him sleep, so he'll get better. When he's well he begins writing, but becomes depressed, easily.
Justin looks forward to being the special guest at the Children’s Music Search. Kids from the age of three up to twelve are competing for the prize new music supplies, scholarship money for college, recording a track for a CD for World Children’s Day, benefiting Ronald Mc Donald House Charity, and many other organizations that tailor to kids and their family, presented by Mc Donald’s.
Justin walks out on stage, and gets a large applause from the adoring audience. "I hope ya'all enjoy the show today. I imagine many of these youngsters we'll be seeing in the future. I wish them all the best of success, and am looking forward to greeting all of them, and presenting one of them with the first place prize. I'll be out latter, to announce the winner!" Justin exits the stage.
He sits on a chair, clasping his hands together. Justin sighs, taking a few nice deep breaths in and out, reaching in his pocket, pulling out Christian's photo. He immediately slides it back in after the first contestant exits the stage.
His head hangs low, as he rubs his forehead. Justin sits quietly, trying to smile, as the children walk by. He poses for pictures and signs autographs, if the kids want one. Justin goes outside for a bit for fresh air. He closes his eyes.
He hears a young boy yell,” Daddy!" His eyes open peering around, wishing he could hear those words.
Most people know him as Justin. He misses being Daddy. Justin's the younger him, but Daddy is his older self. He still considers himself a father, and always will. He no longer cuts off those golden curls, because of the admiration of his son's. His blue eyes lack the glow that once showed. Tears dim them. Justin's cheeks and nose are constantly red from the crying. His lips are no longer strawberry red. They appear like snow, cold, wet, white, hardly ever opening to show the diamonds that so many have come to love. Clothing has gone from name brand, vibrant colors to articles from the Salvation Army, whatever he can find. His attire is plain, mostly earth tones or solely black.
He hears again, "Daddy!" That word causes extreme pain. He wishes he could erase that word, so he would be in less agony.
Justin has a tap on his arm. He turns his head to see who it is, most likely a fan, he assumes. He looks downward, and gasps.
He can't move, or barely breathe. "Christ-ian?"
"Daddy I missed you! What's wrong, Daddy?"
Justin snaps out of his trance, while his heart beats a mile a minute, tears form in his eyes. "I'm happy to see you. How's Mommy?" Justin hugs his son.
"Owe," he cries.
Justin stops confused, looking into Christian's eyes. He begins to pay closer attention to his son's face. The child's hair is cut short, barely leaving the curls noticeable. His face has little scratches all over it.
"Mommy hurts. My boo boo's from kitty!"
"Why does Mommy hurt?"
"Do you have a kitty?"
"I don't have a kitty!"
"Where'd you find the kitty?"
"She went bye, bye, with Jake!"
"Who are you with?"
Justin tries to think fast. He has to get back into the building to announce the winner, soon. His hands are tied, because he doesn't want to let his son go out of his sight.
"Are you in the talent show?"
"Yeah! I played piano. I sang songs!"
Justin smiles at his son. "That's very good. Where's your uncle?"
"Come on, Buddy. You can stay with Johnny, until Daddy can be with you."
"Okay. Don't 'eve me!"
"I won't I promise."
Justin walks with his son into the building. He hopes few people heard his conversation with his son. Family isn’t supposed to be in the contest. Justin didn't even see the performance, but it doesn't matter. He’s also not supposed to talk to the kids outside of the building, to protect himself, for being accused of things. Justin might have to leave, if someone tells on him.
Johnny takes good care of Christian, while Justin's greeting with the other kids, and posing for pictures. Johnny brings Christian out to be with the other contestants when they announce the winner.
Justin takes a deep breath in, and releases it as he comes into everyone's view. He clasps his hands praying his son won't yell out Daddy in his direction.
"Our grand prize winner is Alex Lindsey." The child stands up, and bows. The crowd applauded. Our second place winner is.........." There's a long pause.
People yell out in the audience,” Get on with it! How hard is it to say a name?"
Justin's heart is racing, as his son looks onward at him. "Christian T........"
One of the parents shouts, "We don't have all day! Announce the last name! These kids will be fifty before you get done!"
Justin takes a few deep breaths in and out, mouthing, "Timberlake!"
"What'd he say?" they scream!
Justin answers them, "Timberlake!"
Christian can tell his father is uncomfortable, and just sits there, quietly. Justin sighs. He wants to congratulate his son, but can't. Even worse Justin has to confess that this is his son. "Christian come here."
Christian toddles up to Justin. He gives his father a comforting hug.
"This young man is my son, Christian. I was surprised to see him, in the contest today. I had no idea my son would be in the contest, and am sorry we broke the rules of the contest. I don't know if you want to disqualify him. I hope you won't because I didn't vote on his performance or know about any of this."
"Daddy, don't worry! I wanted to do this for you. I saw picture on TV, and told uncle I want to do that. But, I play every day!"
The audience awes.
The judges let him be in it, though they had to pick another person for first place. Christian is more excited about being with his father, than anything else.
Justin walks out of the building holding Christian in his arms. "Christian, how come your Mommy let you come?"
"She didn't Daddy! Uncle doesn’t know your face. I tell him I want to play, so he brings me. He tells me that fine"
"I don't think your uncle's coming back!"
"Daddy I don't need him. I got you!"
"Yes, you do, Baby! Daddy's not going to let you out of my sight. Did you see Daddy's video for you?"
"Yay, I love seeing you!"
"Let's get you home." Justin brings Christian home. He shows Christian his room, still the way it was before he was taken away!” I need to get you a bed. You can sleep with Daddy, if you want tonight."
Justin takes off his son's shirt, carefully. He's horrified at what he sees. He has bruises all over his body. No wonder why the child cried when Justin hugged him earlier. He carefully dresses Christian, after his bath. His clothes still fit him from before. Justin lays Christian on the bed, watching him closely all night long.
Christian awakes the next morning, "Daddy, wakey up!"
Justin tries focusing, though he's drowsy,” What’s wrong Chris?"
"It’s morning!" He sticks his small hands around his father. "I love you!"
"I love you too! Let's get you some new clothes today!"
read chps. 4 & 5 here