Lasting Impression

Justin places his torn blue backpack on the floor, beside his desk, nervously studying the other students. His clothes are not name brand and appear faded, as he sits in the chair, taping his foot against the flooring, in a rhythmic pattern. Justin jumps, frightened, when a young man about his age slams his fist down on his desk.

“Look you little worthless homeboy, you don’t deserve to be here. The only reason you’re here is because they say you can play basketball. I bet you can’t play that well.”

“Leave him alone, Larry,” a woman with long red hair states from behind him. “It’s his first time here in New York.

Justin sighs, looking at her, “Thanks.” He closes his eyes, thinking about his family, and that he is doing this for them. He is holding back his tears, as the teacher enters the room.

Basketball tryouts aren’t much different than the classes he does. He shutters when Larry comes toward him, with his jersey and shorts. At the old college they didn’t have that. He didn’t seem to care about picking a number; at least he has a jersey that’s his. Justin doesn’t have much that belongs to him that others have not taken, from him. “Thanks,” he mumbles.

Larry laughs, “You’re something.”

Justin replies, “Aren’t we all?”

He rushes out of the gym, with his backpack, as he turns running into a female, and drops the books in his hands, “Are you okay?” He bends down picking up a necklace. He has knocked out of her hands, “I’m sorry about this.”

The female pulls Justin to his feet, smiling at him. “It’s okay. I can fix it.” She stares at him for a few moments, “We met in the first morning class. Sorry about Larry. He can be a real ass.”

“I’m used to bullies by now. I have to get going, but maybe we could have lunch together, or something.”

She nods, watching him exit the glass doors, and enter the streets.

Justin goes from the upscale streets, to a small street, where the roads aren’t paved. There are no trees or plants, and the homes are run down. He steps up to the door and knocks, “Momma, please let me in.” The door opens and Justin embraces his mother.

Justin’s body is weary, as he sits on the dusty flooring. He removes a photo from deep within his jean pockets, as she wraps her arms around him. “I don’t want to be next, Momma. C didn’t deserve to die. I’ll always love my brother, even though he’s gone.” His hands grow shaky. His breathing is shallow, as she rubs his back. He stands, proceeding to go to his small room.

Nothing is the same without C around. Without him, Justin feels at times there’s no purpose in life, except to avoid the fate his brother encountered.

He sits on the mattress, gazing at the digital clock on the floor. In another hour, he has to work to help his mom pay the bills. He finds a position at a nearby barber shop. He cleans up the hair in the old fashioned saloon, as mostly men chat about women and beer. He doesn’t speak, afraid of being beaten by the dark skinned people that make up a large percentage of the family owned business.

The owner is in his mid fifties, with bald spots. He chuckles a lot, forcing a grin, as he moves his fingers along his trimmed facial hair. He stands little over five feet tall, with a slim build and muscular frame. He pats Justin’s back, “You’re doing fine, son.”

Justin nods,”Th……. Thank you!” He nervously returns to his work.

“Shhh…….,” he hears and turns around in a circle to see who says it, but nobody is there with him. It reminds him of his brother’s voice, but he’s long gone, though he has left a lasting impression on him.

Justin walks back to his home, in the dark. The slightest sound causes him to jump. He yawns, as he sees the home, making his tired body move to get where he’ll be safe, away from the gangs and drug dealers. They’re all over the streets, as he manages to push himself past them, fearing that they will kill him.

Justin sleepily gets onto his bed, as his mom comes into the room, with his medication. He feels a sting in his stomach and closes his eyes, falling asleep.

She gently strokes his face. “I love you.”

He mumbles, “I love you, too,” groggily. He turns to his side.

“Charlie, you have to care for Justin tonight, while I go to work.”

Charlie laughs, “Sure will.” He gazes over a his younger brother, whose playing on the floor, in his pj’s.

“And no inviting those boys over. They’re trouble,” she warns him.

Charlie knows she’s right, but allows them entrance into his home. They immediately throw a tantrum, at the sight of the younger boy in the room.

Charlie sighs, “He won’t say anything. He doesn’t say much at all. He’ll be dreaming of Mickey Mouse, soon.”
Justin can’t sleep, as he rests comfortably, in Charlie’s loving arms. Charlie runs bath water, putting some herbs into the warm water. He removes Justin’s clothing, placing him into the water.

He watches his younger brother’s eyelids droop, as he pours the water carefully over Justin’s curls. He rushes, getting him back in his pj’s and into his bed.

The boys are not pleased, as he takes a seat on the couch, reaching for the small wrapped cylinder, opening it. “He’s out now.”

He wakes, blinking his blue eyes, as he focuses on his brother’s backpack. He eases off the bed, plopping down on the floor. He stands, making his way towards the large blue backpack. Justin tugs at the dangling cords and key chains, while fooling with the zippers.

He looks for one of his juice boxes, as his brother has a heated discussion downstairs. He discovers a powdery substance in a bag, “Icky,” he exclaims, throwing it back into Charlie’s bag, “Where’s juice?” He reaches into a side pocket, discovering the apple, grape juice. He grabs it, sneaking over to the stairs to find out what Charlie is up to.

Justin’s body jerks, as his mother attempts to arose him. “Justin, it’s only a nightmare.”

Justin sits straight up, hugging his mom, “Don’t leave C,” he whimpers.

She chuckles, “Justin, it’s me, Mom,” but he doesn’t respond. Instead, he rests his head back on the pillow, falling asleep. She exits his room, going to her room to get some rest before morning.

He rolls out of bed tired, heading to the bathroom to have a shower. The warm water feels good against his skin. Justin closes his eyes, singing to himself. He reaches for his towel, turning off the water.

Chp. 2

Justin sits down at his desk, noting that somebody new is occupying the spot in front of him. He is relieved Larry is now some place else. His body relaxes, for a bit.

The man in front of him turns around to face him, “Hi. You must be Justin.”

“I think so,” Justin states softly.

“Is this your first time in New York?” Justin nods. His confusing brown eyes study Justin. He licks his lips, extending his muscular hand to Justin. He notices the man in front of his eyes, is questioning whether or not he can talk to him, without getting treated poorly. He’s under the impression that terror reins in this teenager’s clouded eyes.

Justin has learned early on that people can be quite cruel. He shutters as a memory of him and his brother bolts through his mind. He gasps, as everyone in the classroom turns to him, because the teacher is calling him and Justin is staring blanky at nothing, “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Justin, I want you to work with Lukas, on the assignment.”

Lukas seems pleased to have Justin as his partner for the writing work. “So we chat again,” Justin gulps hard. He reaches out to touch Justin’s hand. “This is going to take a few days.” The young man breathes deeply. “We’ll do fine. Maybe we can get Arial to join us.” He points to a beautiful red head on the other side of the room.

Justin eases, smiling, “I like her,” he whispers, choking on his words.

Lukas laughs, “Well, I like you.” He awkwardly smiles, patting Justin’s hand.

Justin adjusts the collar of his faded jean shirt, turning the pages of the text book, as he keeps his head facing downward. He franticly searches for the page. “I’ll have to come in early for us to do this.”

“You could come over to my room that’s on campus, if it’d be easier.”

Justin shyly replies, “I don’t want to hassle you.” He glances up at the large clock on the wall, waiting for class to be over with.

“Hey, are you going to help me with this?”

Justin slowly nods his head, “What do you want me to do?”

“You can go to the library and gather information about our topic.”

“Where is it? I’m not familiar with this huge school.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“I …ugh……um……..okay.”

“Don’t think to hard now,” Lukas chuckles. “Do you stutter a lot?”

“Sometimes,” he sighs. “I’m not too good with people.”

“You’ll learn to be better. You’re in a new setting, so that doesn’t make the situation better to handle. New places and people can be confusing.” He stands, “Come on. Let’s go to the library. Class is over in a minute and Mr. Gregory doesn’t mind us leaving this early, unless he’s in the middle of a discussion.”

The hallways are narrow, with artwork on the walls from students in the art department. Each room has either a discussion or students working on their assigned assignments. He glances quickly at each. The college reminds him of an art museum, with so many things on display and behind glass.

Even the library has items that you have to look at through glass. The red carpet appears nearly spotless and the majority of books seem in fair to good condition. Justin sits in a comfy red chair, reading the book. “This is nothing like back home.”

Lukas asks, “What is it like there?”

“Well, for starters, the library has an old moldy smell to it. Not the greatest for a guy with allergies. The books are in poor condition. The street the library is on has the highest gang rate, so you never know when somebody may come in the place and start shooting.”

“Why so much gang activity?”

“They came from Memphis, because the gang had split and were at each other’s throats. They called themselves the Eagles. They were so rough, shooting and stabbing people on that street. They thought it was the best to go for the elderly communities, where the people couldn’t do much. It was perfect, it seemed, but then another gang came in and ruined their parade. Now, it’s just a bloody battle between the two, and the cops don’t do much about it. Just try to stop the drug selling each night.”

“I’m sorry, Justin.”

“It’s not your fault.” He quickly peaks at the clock. “I have to get to my next class. I’ll see you later.”

Justin grabs his backpack and heads to the classroom. He pants, as Larry comes toward him. “I don’t have time.”

Larry glares at Justin, seeing something on his body. “Where’d you get the body art?”

“My brother gave it to me,” as Justin rushes into the classroom.”

“He’s a tattoo artist? With a shy dewb like you, I’d never expect something like that.”

“I’m not always shy,” he lies. He figures Larry isn’t impressed, when he rolls his eyes.” He feels a sharp pain in his shoulder, “Why’d you do that?”
“I know the truth about you, so you better be careful.”

Justin backs away, sitting down at a desk. “I didn’t do anything to you,” he mutters, opening his text book.

“You came to this school and are threatening me game time. I’ve been dreaming of playing in the NBA since I was a toddler. I have practiced for years and then this poor freak comes in and ruins it all, but you aren’t going too! Your family already screwed me once. You can’t play if you deal.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t deal anything.”

He snickers, “That body art on your chest says otherwise.” He grabs onto Justin’s shirt, whispering, “My father was a cop, back in Tennessee and he got involved in your brother’s gang, trying to stop it, but died in the process. I’m going to make your life hell, like your brother made mine.”

“I don’t know what you heard, but Charlie wasn’t evil. He just got mixed up in everything. He saved my life.”

Justin remembered his older brother, holding him, as he cried. His small body was sore from the beating he received from the boys. He didn’t realize his brother was injured too. He wished he could have stayed with him longer, but the boys pulled him away, sticking needles into his skin, whimpering for his brother, who came to his aide one last time, long enough to ward off the boys, until reinforcements arrived.

“Hey wake up, stupid kid,” Justin opens his eyes for Larry. He shakes Justin hard, “You having seizures?”

“No, I’m thinking about C.”

“What are you four? You can’t say full names! You must be retard.”

“That’ll be enough, Larry. I need to teach a class, now. Let’s leave Mr. Timberlake alone. He hasn’t had much of a chance to get to know everyone.”

Chp. 3

Justin is relieved he doesn’t have to work that night. He spends the night with his mom. He tells her everything that has happened. “I want to get us out of debt, Momma. I’m so concerned about it getting messed up.” He breathes heavily, as he lies near her.

She kisses his forehead, “We’ll work out everything. God has a way.” She strokes his face, getting up to answer the door. “I’ll be right back, Justin.”

Ariel stops by, “Is Justin here?”

The older woman nods, “My son’s sleeping in his room. Is there something he is needed for?”

“I just wanted to check on him. He’s so quiet and the creep Larry scares him. Larry’s always trying to be top dog at our school.”

“He’ll be in school tomorrow,” she smiles.

Justin gets up, slightly drowsy and steps out into her sight, “Hi,” he states, almost in a whisper.

Ariel questions in a concerned tone, “Are you feeling alright, Justin?”

He gazes at her sleepily, “I’m just tired. “ He makes his way towards. He hugs her, trying to keep his eyes open.

His mom laughs, “I think he’s sleep walking. I’m going to get him back in bed.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, Justin.”

Justin holds onto his mom’s body, as he goes into a deeper sleep. She wraps a blanket around him, before exiting his room.

Justin’s eyes flutter as he has a warm sensation on his hand, “C,” he smiles.

Charlie chuckles, “Yeah.” He sobers, “Last time I saw you, you were a very sick boy. You’ve done well, no matter how tough things may become, stay with it.”

In the morning, he slides his arms around his mother, “I love you.” He sits down at the table, flooding his cereal with the milk.

“Somebody’s hungry, today,” she jests, as she fools with the collar of his slightly frayed button down shirt. She folds the edges. She sits in a chair across from him. “How’s school been, aside from Larry?”

He mutters, “Fine,” twisting one of his tight curls. He stands, clasping onto the clear glass bowl, bringing it to the sink, to rinse the dishware, as the spoon clanks against the surface of bowl.

Lukas removes Justin’s backpack, when he arrives at the school, wrapping his arm around Justin’s neck, “How’s my buddy doing?”

“I’m alright. I wish my classes were later on. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“We have about thirty minutes. You want to go to my place and talk or rest?” His arm remains around Justin’s, as he drags him to his room.

Justin’s eyes widen at all the medical stuff Lukas has, “Are you going to be a doctor?”

“Someday, I will be. Are you afraid of doctors, Justin?”

“I don’t like shots,” he admits shyly. He massages his stomach, where he receives his injections.

“Do you have to have a lot of them?”

Justin sadly nods, “They hurt. I get three every night. What do you want me to do for this assignment? I’ve been doing a lot of reading.”

“I’ll write half and you write the other half. English isn’t really my best subject, but it was all that was left, in order to get enough credits. Do you like English, Justin?”

“English is hard,” Justin replies. “I have hearing problems. I have hearing aides, but they don’t always work. Words sound jumbled. It’s not a big problem, yet. Though, my hearing is gradually worsening.” He writes a note on a piece of his note paper and hands it to him.

“I won’t harm you, like they did,” Justin.”

Justin murmurs, “How do I know?” He lowers his head. He grabs his backpack, “I have to go.”

“Okay, but I promise I have no motives, Justin.” He pats his back.

At home, Justin’s older cousin offers to help support Justin in college. Justin runs to the short man, with a beard, and deep brown eyes, “Chris.”

Chris points to his fancy car, “Do you want a ride?” Justin gestures by moving his head up and down, “Then get in.”

Justin questions, “Where we going?”

“I thought I’d take you to a club. Is that alright?”

“I don’t know. I’m not good in social situations.”

“I’m going to make you,” he chuckles. “This is one of the best clubs in town and I just bought it.”

Justin rolls his eyes, “You did what?”

“I bought the club. It is hot Just! The ladies are banging.”

He moves his fingers along the creases in his head, “Why do I sense this is a terrible idea?”

A haunting voice comes to him, sending shivers through his spine, “Because it is.”

“Did you hear that, Chris?”

“No, I hear wind. I believe you’re hearing things. It’s cold out. Maybe, you’re getting sick.”

He shakes his head, frowning, “I’m not sick! I heard his voice.”

“Justin, it is you and me only in this car. I wasn’t speaking.”

Chp. 4

The swank club features state of the art strobe lights, disco balls and fake smoke. The hottest music blares from surround sound speakers. As you step through the doors, below you is a tribal rug. On the sides are lush palm trees, with decorative lights intertwined within their leaves, mixed with coconuts and exotic mechanical birds that speak and chirp as guests walk by.

Tables have animal prints on them and creatures around them. One has a snake coiled around the post, as if it were climbing up the umbrella. The bottom half of the walls are mainly a jungle green, with trees coming from every direction.

The dance floor, or pit as Chris calls it is a black. Unlike traditional clubs you go down instead of up to dance. There’s a study incline as you move further down into the center. Bubbles seep through the area surrounding the hole, changing how many appear by the type of music on the loud speakers.

Justin’s baffled, “This is crazy, Chris. How can you afford something like this?” He runs his fingers along the smooth table top and over the bumps and nooks on the faux alligator. His fingers slide through the gator’s slimy bottom half that rests in some shallow grungy water. He pulls his fingers out of the water, “Nasty.”

Chris grins as he wipes the tables with a washcloth, “What do you think of it all?”

Justin’s to stunned to reply. He takes a seat, trying to take everything in. He shrugs his shoulders, “Cool.” He rises from his position, “Chris, I have to get home, for work.”
Chris grabs his car keys, “Okay.” He throws on his jacket and makes sure Justin’s ready to go, “This is the way it used be. I was constantly helping your mom, with getting you prepared for the next thing.” He straightens Justin’s shirt, “I can get you some new clothes, J.”

“I like this, Chris. Mom bought it for me.”

Chris puts the key into the hole, as he turns the steering wheel, facing him, “Don’t you want to be in style, with the other students?”

Justin fastens his seat belt, “Clothes don’t make a person, Chris.” He rests his head against the leather interior. “Chris, what do you think about gay people?”

“They’re just people, like us. I don’t think it’s wrong for them to like the same sex.” He pauses, “You know somebody that’s gay?”

Justin cracks a smile, “Yeah. I believe so.”

Chris stops the car, staring at him, “Do you have feelings for them?”

“It’s too early to tell, Chris. I’m scared of liking anybody, right now. I want to trust people, but it is way too hard.”

Chris questions, “Do you trust me?”

“Yeah, I do, but I’ve known you forever.”

“At least give people a chance, Justin.” He starts the car up, turning down the narrow streets, where loud sirens echo.

Justin turns his head, recognizing the bold, unpleasing face, running from the authorities, “That’s Larry. There goes his basketball career.”

“I take it you know him,” he chuckles.

“He’s a royal ass, though I won’t say that in front of him, in fear of being brutally assaulted. He’s trying to ruin me, with my brother’s wrong doings, because I still have that marking.”

“Sorry, Justin, maybe, things will improve once he’s in jail.”

“I imagine he’ll weasel his way out of it. He seems like, he’ll stop at anything to get his way, while, and I’m trying to earn enough money to keep my family healthy. Once, I get my credits and find a decent job, I’ll be relieved. If, I get into the NBA that’ll be nice, but I’m just using my skills to survive, this system.”

“You do have talent, playing ball. You don’t see that everyday.” He pats his cousin’s back, as they arrive at Justin’s home. He sadly sighs, “I want to get you and your mom out of here. It’s not safe.”

“Chris, you shouldn’t have to take us in. You have your own family, to think about.”

“Just, I haven’t seen my father in years. My mom’s gone and my sister’s are well cared for. I feel you two are just as much of my family as my sisters. I’m not too far from here, if you two need something.”

Chp. 5

Later, Justin covers his ears, annoyed with the noises outside his home. He turns on a light, to see what is going on. He yawns, flicking it off, just gangs engaging in their nightly activity. He’d like to call the cops, but knows that’ll only escalate the issue at hand, so he closes his eyes, praying they won’t start shooting, resting his head on the pillow. He moves his head from side to side, from the piercing sounds in both ears, out of frustration he turns the hearing devices off. It helps him get the sleep he hasn’t been able to get, for the past few months.

At school, Lukas waves to Justin, “Hi Justin.”

Justin walks closer to him, “Hi. My ears keep ringing, so it’s difficult to hear.”

“You probably have to get new batteries, for them. Let’s go to the library. You’ll understand me there. The hallway is too crowed with voices and doors slamming shut.”

As soon as they sit down, Larry stomps over to Justin,”Been dealing lately?”

Justin stands, leaning forward, “No, but I know you have.” He takes his seat.

“You don’t have anything on me, Timberlake.”

Justin bluffs, “But, I do. I saw you running yesterday and it certainly wasn’t for the track team!”

Larry grabs a hold of Justin’s shirt collar, “You better be running, in a moment.”

Lukas pulls at Justin’s arm, “Come on. He’s no good.” Justin follows him to a safer location, “Now, what’s going o between you two!?”

Justin whispers, “He wants to claim I’m in a gang, because of my past history, well my brother’s history. Well, yesterday I was in a car with my cousin and I see him fleeing the sconce of a drug bust. It’s actually in the paper this morning, but he didn’t get caught. I lied to him and said I have some incriminating evidence, but truthfully all I have are my two blue eyes. I was hoping. It’ll stop him for a bit, with trying to bust my chops.”

Lukas laughs, “Whatever works for you.” He passes the literary book to Justin, so he can read, as the library grows noisier.

Ariel walks up to them, “Mind if I sit here?” She sighs, as she looks at Justin and his confused expression. She moves closer to him, pointing to the chair, “Can I sit here?” He nods. She touches around his ears, causing him to jump back. “I’m going to fix your monitors.” He pushes away, as she applies pressure, but is happy with the end result, being able to hear a bit better. She kisses him lightly on the cheek.


A little boy from Tennessee,
Mixed up in the gang I see,
Their impressions change me,
When they killed