Horse Tails Pt. 2

Justin has occupational therapy today. He doesn’t like going because many of the tasks are difficult for him to follow through on. He has a hard time trying new things. His therapist never pushes him into doing it past what he can handle. If Justin can’t finish something they try to work on the project the following week. He is given a doll today that he has worked with before.

The doll has a button he can undo, a zipper that he can move up and down, many shapes in primary colors on the outer surface at different sizes and shoelaces that he can tie. She has Justin do many things with the doll. After going over his colors and shapes she does roll playing with him using the doll. She tells him that the doll has autism and asks him to express how the doll may feel about having it.

This process is a good way for Justin to get out some of his frustrations. He tries to give facial expressions that will go along with the doll’s feelings.

She gives Justin a mirror and has him look at a facial expression and attempt to mimic it since he has difficulty making eye contact!

Justin keeps his distance from the Christmas tree and the gifts underneath. He sits on the wood floor patiently waiting for his parents. It is Christmas Eve not that Justin understands the significance of the day or any day in general. It isn’t important in his world. All that matters for Justin is that his needs are met and he doesn’t complain much.

He reads a Christmas coloring book. Each page only has three or four words. He takes out his crayons scribbling on the first page with a blue crayon. He circles the snowman with a red crayon. With an orange crayon he writes an uppercase “F” sideways next to a man with a beard, “Daddy.” He throws the crayon on the floor and goes back to his room sobbing, “Daddy hurts.”

Lynn hears Justin crying on the monitor and goes to figure out what’s wrong. “What upset you?”

He sighs, “Daddy.”

Lynn looks at her son perplexed. “Sweetheart, your dad is sleeping.”

“No uter Daddy!’

“What did he do to you, Justin?”

“I draw-in in Criss- miss book. Daddy looks like draw- in.”

“I’m sorry Dad upsets you but he can’t hurt you anymore. Daddy lives with Jonathan and his wife and other son.”

He asks, “Daddy good to them?”

“Your father learned his lesson. He grew up.”

Lynn keeps Justin entertained by having him assist her making Christmas cookies. She allows him to decorate the cookies under supervision. “We’re going to New York tonight, Justin. You’re going to see snow.”

She has Justin’s things packed and his wheelchair ready to go. “We have hats and mittens for winter weather and warm jackets.”

Lynn prefers the later flight because Justin will sleep through it. To protect his ears from the loud noises on the plane she sticks cotton in his ears as he falls drowsy. She speaks softly to him as they take off.

They get Justin back in the wheelchair after arriving at the airport. He’s still sleeping as they go to pick up their rental car. Lynn stays with Justin in the back of the car as her husband drives. She makes sure Justin is warm enough as he sleeps.

Justin wakes up in the car crying as he adjusts to his new settings. He doesn’t like his winter hat or mittens. He takes them off.

Justin has new rules he must follow at the log cabin. His two big don’t do’s from his parents are no leaving the cabin unless they are with him. They tell him the weather can be dangerous so it is best to stay with them. The other thing they don’t want him to do is getting close to the fire. He already knows that the Christmas tree is off limits.

Justin goes to bed shortly after being in the cabin. His Mom and Dad are close by if he becomes scared or upset during the night. He holds his horse tightly in his arms. He drifts to sleep as his body trembles from all the excitement of the day.

He does much better on Christmas morning. His fears for the most part have subsided now that it is just his Mom and Dad with him.

Justin finally gets to see the snow up close and touch it. He reaches for the wet substance and moves it around in his hands. He is fascinated with how it changes shape and disappears. He wonders what makes it cold.

Lynn shows Justin how to make a snow person. She plays games with him around the snow creature.

Justin points to the skiers on the hill, “Do.”

“That is a hard sport, Justin. We have to eat Christmas dinner soon. “

He eats and opens up a few presents. His parent’s have already given him a few that morning. They feel it is best to break it up so Justin won’t be overwhelmed. This process seems to work.

Justin throws the snow in the air and then sits down on the ground. He lifts off his winter hat and places it on the ground.

Lynn puts it back on his head. “This keeps your head warm so you won’t get sick. If you can’t keep it on we will go inside.”

Justin walks up the long hill with Lynn. He is going to ride down in a blue sled. He plops down into the sled, “When go?”

She smiles, “You can go anytime you want.”

Justin is fearful of his ride. He begins to cry as the sled starts making its way down the hill. The hill isn’t dangerous mostly used for kids. He screams going over the bumps. He doesn’t want to go again so Lynn takes him on a horse drawn carriage ride.

He points to many things on the ride. His Mom tries to tell him anything he may want to know. He still would like to ski but his Mom doesn’t think it would be a good idea.

After some talks with locals, Lynn has found a ski resort that does adaptive skiing. She takes Justin to the program, not sure what to expect. She gently sticks the helmet on his head. “This helmet is like the horse one Justin except it has glasses to protect you from the sun.”

Justin rides up the hill with his instructor, Mike. His instructor motions for the people doing the chair left to stop it to get Justin off safely. He attaches a small cord between Justin’s skies until he gets better at using them. Mike skies backward closely watching Justin’s shaky legs. Justin’s poor balance makes the experience difficult for him. When they make it to the bottom, Mike works with Justin by slowly showing him what to do in a more comfortable setting.

Skiing is tiresome for Justin. He takes a rest with his Mom in the lounge on a black leather couch. He sinks down into the interior as Lynn removes his helmet. His eyes close laying his back on the couch.

Mike suggests a different type of skiing for Justin since he lacks the coordination to ski. He shows Lynn skies where Justin sits down in a sled with a ski on it. It has a cord attached to the back of it on both sides. All Justin would have to do is move his body when he feels the need too.

“I’m going to bring him back tomorrow. Can we try that tomorrow if I bring him back?”

“Sure, just ask for Mike. Do you need help getting him back in his wheelchair?”

“If you don’t mind that’d be great.”

“It is no big deal. I do this everyday. He did great today.”

Lynn wheels Justin to the car and gets him inside. She buckles up his seat belt as her husband puts the wheelchair in the back. She sits with him as he goes in and out of sleep.

“We are going to go see the dinosaurs’ tomorrow morning. Then we will come back and ski if you would like too.”

Justin leafs through the dinosaur picture book he received from his parent’s for Christmas yesterday. The dinosaurs are listed in alphabetical order and have their name underneath, not that Justin can pronounce them. All he can do is give the action of each dinosaur and maybe its color. In another book he sees lots of shapes that come together to make a dinosaur. He sees how to put the shapes together to make a dinosaur. Justin mostly scribbles with the crayons.

To him the scribbles are dinosaurs or people. He mixes up location of objects placing the sun on the ground and lots of red dots around it. He has a blue blob shape on top of a purple circular shape. He gives the picture to his Mom.

“That is a nice picture. What color did you like using the most?”

Justin points to the color, "That.”

“This color is blue, Justin. You have blue dinosaurs on your pencil. Can you point to something blue?”

Justin looks down at his shirt and grabs it, “Color.”

“Very good Justin your shirt is blue. She pulls out the calendar with Mickey Mouse on it. “What day of the week is it?” She says the names of each day of the week and tells Justin what month it is. “Soon we will be in a new year.”

Justin watches a dinosaur movie at bedtime as his medicine starts to sedate him.

December 2004

Justin’s Journal

Daddy en Mom- my en me seen diner-surs today. Dey rurred en scare me. I touch dem. Daddy like dem. Mom den’t like. Dem r big. Dem go home.

Mom-my I ed today. Snow liked. I go en efter noon morrow. Daddy ed to. I like trip.

Buy,

Justin

Lynn feels terrible watching him struggle to write a few sentences. She never has him rewrite the sentences only talks to him about them. She compliments him on trying his hardest.

Lynn gives Justin a piece of white paper and his crayons. “Would you please draw me a picture of something you liked doing on this trip?”

He scribbles blue all over half of the page. He takes a red crayon and draws a line on the blue already there. He makes a circle shape at one of the ends of his red line. He squiggles “MI” near the red line sideways.

He is asked to tell about his drawing, “It me in Snow.”

“I love it, Justin. You’re getting much better at this. Did you like making the picture?”

Justin yawns, “It not me.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to like drawing. Are you ready for the medicine?”

He shakes his head, “It icky!”

She gives Justin the liquid medication. “It will make you feel better.”

Justin drinks it and goes to his bed where his plush horse is. He snuggles the animal as he becomes sleepy.

Lynn goes into another room and tells Justin, “I’ll be right back. I need to order something for New Years Eve.”

She hears the door close and her heart drops into her stomach knowing that everyone was safe in the cabin. She can’t understand why Justin would take off. She is concerned about his safety. He is not dressed for winter weather. A hooded sweatshirt, jeans, socks and a pair of blue Nike sneakers won’t keep Justin warm long. His alertness is lowered on the drug making it likely for him to have a fall more easily. She and her husband find Justin in the snow next to a large horse.

Justin’s dad makes sure to keep Justin’s body still. He would like to move Justin but is afraid that Justin may have a head or neck injury.

The doctor at the hospital says, “Justin appears to be fine. He has no serious injuries.”

They take Justin back to the cabin sound asleep. They make note of the bruises on his face from the fall. Lynn moves Justin’s hair back as he sleeps. She is glad he didn’t further injury his stomach but is unhappy he broke the rules.

Justin can’t play with his toy horses for an hour after getting up as punishment. This is hard on him. He cries and says, “Sorry.” He doesn’t understand why it was so dangerous just that his Mom and Dad didn’t approve of what he did.

He has a difficult night even though he has his toys back. Justin wakes screaming and covers his ears, and shuts his eyes. His body trembles as his Mom tries to comfort him.

“What is bothering you, Justin?”

Justin’s breathing is labored, Ger-den-er ! He means!”

“Sweetheart, He can’t hurt you anymore. Do his words still scare you?”

Justin nods his head rubbing his hands against his soft blanket.

“Nobody is going to take you. Your Father and I love you. That is why we punished you. We want you to learn right from wrong.”

She reads to him to get him back asleep. She smiles putting the book on a shelf next to his bed.
Justin wakes wondering where his mom is. His dad tells him, “She has the flu. We have to be quiet so she can rest.”

His dad takes him outside and watches him play in the snow. Justin’s dad seems unsure about what to talk to Justin about. He doesn’t want to say or do something Lynn wouldn’t. Justin just likes to have somebody there for reassurance.

Justin sits in the snow and touches the snowman, “What do?”

“The snow creature is for pretend. What would you like it to do, Justin?”

Justin pokes the snowman, “Play Frosty.” He takes off his hat and sticks it on the snow figure. He sighs, “Frosty broken.”

His dad chuckles, “Frosty is a cartoon, Justin. Cartoons are pretend. We can’t make this one do what Frosty did. Frost is imaginary. He was made by somebody’s mind.”

Justin can’t grasp what is real and what is just made up no matter how many times his Mom and Dad tell him.

Justin touches the sticky blue substance sticking it in his mouth. It dissolves, and he pulls off more. His finger tips and mouth are blue. He puts out his hands, “Icky.”

His Dad laughs, “Cotton candy is messy. It will all come off with water.” He gives Justin a wet paper towel, “Wipe of your mouth and hands. They will not be sticky anymore.”

Justin watches his Dad make a sandwich. He has play food to practice without wasting food. He reaches for the butter container and sticks it on his fake knife. He presses hard on the make believe bread. He pours the juice from the colorful pitcher that looks like it has liquid in it. After the pouring action is completed the cup appears full to Justin. He sticks the cup to his mouth as his Father reminds him not to have the cup touch his lips because it is for play purposes. Justin picks up his play food putting it back in his backpack.

His Father sits next to his bed reading a book to him. Justin falls asleep from his medication. His Dad stays in the room with him to make sure he doesn’t wake up and leave.

Lynn comes in Justin’s room to chat with his Dad. She is feeling better. “How has he been today?”

“He has been behaving. I think he has enjoyed spending time with me. I should be with him more often. Sometimes I don’t believe I am with him enough.”

Lynn pulls out Justin’s blocks after his nap. She asks him what colors they are and what object is inside of each one.

Justin wonders how the shapes got inside of the blocks. He tips the block watching the star move inside. He puts down the blue block with yellow star and picks up an orange block with red circle inside. The yellow block has a green dinosaur inside. He imitates the sound of the dinosaur. He shakes the dinosaur block and pokes it. He tilts it to the side, “Out?”

Lynn smiles, she bends down to Justin’s level on the ground. “The toys don’t come out, Justin. Is the dinosaur block your favorite?”

Justin goes back to playing, “Like.”

He sticks the blocks in groups while babbling or mouthing objects names. He stands up and walks over to his toy horses. He brings them over to the blocks.