Horse Tails Pt. 3

New Years Eve is here and Lynn has been sick every morning. She has an idea of what is going on and discusses it with her husband. They decide she should take a pregnancy test. If it is positive, she will go to the doctors to make sure she is pregnant before telling Justin.

Justin is playing with his blocks with the shapes inside. He drops his block, “No broke.” He tips it to an edge and tries spinning the block. He picks it up and drops it again.

Lynn watches her son’s behavior. She doesn’t want to disturb him because he’s behaving. She’s surprised at his interest in the special building blocks. She hopes he’ll try to build with them, rather than just look at the shapes inside.

No matter how many times Justin pulls, pokes, drops the blocks the object doesn’t come out only moves. He can’t comprehend that the object is being held by something else. Justin pushes the blocks to the side frustrated.

Lynn comes into Justin’s view. She sits down next to him, “Sweetheart, those objects can’t come out.” She picks up the block to show him the inside. “It’s stuck in the plastic lining inside of the block.”

Justin cries, “Stupid.” He gets up and runs to be where his stuffed animal is. He cuddles Friend and talks to himself. This is his way of coping with failure. He thrashes his body against the bed, but stops, screaming out in pain.

Lynn sits down on the bed next to his frame and soothingly talks to him. “You’re not stupid. You have learning problems that make your life harder.”

Justin holds Friend tighter, and closes his eyes. His body seems to freeze. His breathing is irregular. His body needs to calm down from the outburst. His mother gently places a wet cloth on his head to bring down his body temperature. His body is limp and face is a dark pink.

After several minutes his body moves inward. He coughs and weeps, and faces his mom. He drops his stuffed animal and grabs his picture of his horse, “Horse Tails miss.”

“We’ll see Horse Tails in a few days. Did you dream about Horse Tails?”

“I see her. She storyteller.”

“What does Horse Tails tell you?”

Justin’s unable to explain what the horse is telling him. His mom thinks Justin’s mind makes him believe he is communicating with the horse on more of a level than he does.

Justin rests his head on the fluffy pillow pointing to his stomach, “Hurt.”

Lynn checks his stomach carefully for injury but can’t tell if he caused his previous injury to worsen or he just needs more medication for his pain. She places the cream on the sore area which helps soothe his discomfort.

Justin stays on the bed running his hands through Friend’s mane. He pets the horse as if it were real. He leans his head against the horse wiping the tears from his eyes.

He eventually gets up and goes in the living room with his mom and dad. He takes his stuffed animal with him. Justin listens to the TV program some of the time or fools around with Friend, twisting and turning the stuffed animal. Eventually, he cuddles Friend.

. This is his first time to see the ball be dropped in New York City. Justin doesn’t speak the rest of the night. He mouths, “Ball”, pointing to the large silver ball displayed on the TV screen. He watches the ball fall to the ground to welcome in the New Year. He claps his hands together.

It is spring, Justin clasps onto the cotton material tugging it, getting his mom to turn around. He bends down picking up the bright yellow flower in the damp bushy grass. He gives her the flower, “Baby flower.” He sits down on the blanket his Mom put down for him, and takes off his blue backpack pulling out the baby doll.

It takes Lynn a few minutes to take a seat, “Thank you. The baby will enjoy the flower, Justin. What do you think I will have a little boy or girl?”

“Mom-my have g –url!”

“Try to say Mommy have a girl. I know words are hard to say. The baby will be born in September, Justin.” She allows him to feel the baby and tells him in simple words with pictures from books what is going on. “I’m going to need to spend a lot of time with the baby. It does not mean I do not love you.”

Lynn takes out a book about babies. The book explains how babies come into the world on a simple level for him to understand. She reads the text on the page. She gives him time ask a question about what happens. “This is a pretend baby. You hold the baby by supporting her head and lower body like this. “What do we feed the baby?” Justin’s points the jar, “Very good, Justin.”

They return from their walk at a local park. Justin stays outside playing with chalk. He can’t get out of the fence nor can people come in unless his parents unlock the black gate. His parents have tried to make his outdoor area safe for him so they don’t have to have their eyes on him every second. They feel he should have some freedom if he has supervision.

Justin drops the chalk and grabs the orange basketball. He bounces the ball, “New Year.” He peers up at the sky confused, “No claps.”

He plops down on the ground rolling the basketball out of the way. He grasps onto the spade and makes a hole for a flower, “Icky.” He wipes away the bugs on his hands. Justin picks up the watering can and pours it onto the flowers and the rest in his play sand. He gathers the sand toys and presents them to his Mom, “Baby play.”

Lynn laughs, “The baby will love these someday. It may take a few months. You can share them when the baby is ready to play with them. We have to get you cleaned up to go see your doctor.”

Justin brings Friend for the doctor visit. This is a good way to comfort him. Justin is fearful of the doctors and the noises at the office. He takes medication to reduce his nervousness. He takes a nap with his stuffed animal close by.

The doctor gently takes his stuffed animal away so he can get a good look at Justin’s stomach with the scan. He places the stuffed animal near Justin’s face, while placing a blanket over Justin.

The doctor recommends quiet play for the next four or five hours until he acts less clumsy.

The next day, his parents take a seat in the stands placing the batter’s helmet on his head. Another adult leads Justin to field where the tee is. She places the soft looking baseball on the tee.

Justin holds the blue bat and takes a swing at the ball. He misses the ball but tries again. He hits the ball and runs to second base. He stands at the base with an adult with him making sure he doesn’t take off and get hurt. The older man tells Justin when it is time to run to the next base or when the ball has been captured by the other team. He only goes up to bat two times because it allows all the disabled players a chance to go. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the small crowd. When he is not playing he is in the stands with his parents clapping his hands for the other players.

His parents are impressed that he is finally able to participate even if it is only for a short time because of the horse. They love to watch Justin grow and don’t care that it is taking him longer to get there.

Justin hits the ball hard, sending it over the fence. He runs the bases and goes home.

The man smiles, “You made your first home run. That is great, Justin! Your Mom and Dad will be so proud. If you take your time you can do anything!”

Justin gets to keep his soft baseball, since it’s his first home run. All of the other players sign it for him and read to him what they wrote. He holds his ball and shows it to his parents during the snack time.

His dad promises to get him a case to display his ball in. “That is a cool ball, Justin.”

Justin gives the ball to his mom lying down in the back seat of the car.”

His Mom asks him, “Are you tired?”

Justin mumbles and sits back up, “Icky.”

Lynn places the back of her hand on his forehead. “I think he has a fever.”

They get Justin out of his dirty clothes and into his pajamas. Lynn sits on Justin’s bed next to him. She has him do quiet activities when he feels up to it. She covers him with his blanket and leaves the room. The monitor in his room will alert her if something is wrong.

Justin wakes up looking for his stuffed animal. He reaches for Friend who is seated on the chair. He brings him closer and closes his eyes resting his head on the pillow.

Justin gets up and goes to his book shelf picking out a favorite book. It has a letter from the alphabet on each page. A picture of something that represents that letter is above letter. He has had this book since he was very little and still loves it.

Justin moves onto a new book. He reads the title, “Justin’s Egg Hunt.” He speaks slowly trying to say the words. He says the bright colors that are on the Easter Eggs. Half of them he seems to know.

Lynn comes in to check on Justin, and finds him sound asleep with his books. She puts his books away, and leaves him to sleep.

Justin is doing better by morning. He is on the living room floor with his special building blocks that have the shapes inside. He picks up the blocks and stacks them differently than usual. He places two down and puts another one on top of it.

He spots his mom, “Mommy.” He keeps playing with his blocks. He pulls on her shirt when she comes over, “Mommy have baby.”

“Try not to pull on my shirt. It’s not nice. Tell me without pulling on me. Would you like to feel the baby?”

She gently places his hand on her stomach. “That’s a good boy.”

Justin plops down onto the floor where his blocks still are, while his mom goes to prepare breakfast. He reaches up on the couch grabbing a pair of scissors. He holds them in an upward position. Justin opens and closes the scissors near his clothes. He begins to stand up.

He falls on his bottom near his blocks, with the sharp object still in his grasp. He pokes the blocks with the pointed edge of the scissors. He bangs the blocks hard, but stops. He glances down at his flushed hands, dropping the scissors. Justin grabs them pointing them toward the ceiling. He swings them in front of his face. Justin loses grip of the scissors having them fall to the floor. He goes back to playing with his blocks. He points to the unfamiliar sharp object, “Cutter.” He touches the pointed area and removes his hand from it, “Cutter.” Justin pushes them away getting on his stomach, “Cutter.” He builds with the blocks sorting them by color or shape. He reaches for the scissors and stands up. He heads toward the kitchen with them in his hands. He opens and closes them, “Cutter.”

Justin sees a Mickey Mouse sitting on the bench. He takes Mickey into his arms. He runs his hands down Mickey’s body, and unbuttons Mickey’s shirt, unzipping the pockets. He tries sticking the scissors in Mickey’s pants, but discovers Mickey’s pocket is too small. He looks at his own pockets, “Cutter here.” He attempts to undo one of his buttons on his pajamas. He moves it around as the scissors just miss hitting his skin.

He sits down on the floor with Mickey. He wanders back to the couch, “Cutter.” He pokes the pillows and blocks.

Lynn comes running into the room after she hears, “Mommy cut.” She was unable to check on Justin before because of a phone call. She couldn’t understand what he was trying to say before. She takes the scissors away from him and checks over his body to make sure he didn’t cut himself. “This is not a toy. It may hurt you. You have safe scissors. It is important to be careful with sharp objects.”

Justin returns to his blocks with Mickey close by. He shows Mickey the blocks, “Where go?” He tips the blocks to the side, “Color.” Justin attempts to spin the block but it doesn’t work.

Later that day, Lynn bends down to where she can make eye contact. She gently places her hand underneath his chin moving his face in her direction. “I have to go for an ultra sound. I will be back around diner time. Lance is going to play with you.” She waves goodbye.

Lance settles down into the couch watching his friend get better at building. A slight smile appears on his face observing the innocence in Justin. He reads to Justin after he is done playing.

“Hello I am the Easter Bunny. I like to be funny. This forest is where I live. Easter eggs I give. Have you been a good girl or boy? Those that behave get candy and toys. I check my list to see who deserves a gift. Turn to page two to find my colorful eggs.”

Lance turns the page showing Justin the brightly color eggs. “When is Easter, Justin?”

Justin moves his facial muscles, struggling to say what he would like too, “Easter comes spring.”

“That was good, Justin. Where would you like to go today?”

He points to his Mom’s picture on the stand, “See.”

“Your Mom will be back later. How about visiting Horse Tails?”

Justin nods his head, “Horse Tails plays!”

Jonathan greets Justin. He talks about his dad. “My dad says sorry Justin. Don’t hate him anymore.”

No matter how many times Jonathan tells Justin his dad would like forgiveness, Justin doesn’t understand. He still gets upset when he sees his dad. Justin doesn’t comprehend that Jonathan is his half brother. He considers him a friend. Justin has no idea what being a friend is. He tries to mimic other people’s relationships.

Jonathan asks if Justin can come to his house. “Please can he come Mr. Bass?”


Lance sighs, placing his hand on the child’s shoulder, “Not today. Justin’s parents aren’t available, maybe some other day.”

Justin says, Buh bye.” He raises his arms placing them around Jonathan. Everyone watches as Justin’s arms surround his younger half brother. He releases his hands, “Buh bye.”

This is the first time Justin has engaged in a hug by himself. His family wonders if the hug means anything to him. Only time will tell if Justin is starting to show more outward signs of affection.

Back at home, Justin draws a picture of him and Horse Tails. The sun is on the bottom of the page with his Horse and him. Mainly lines make up the images in the picture. He presents the picture to his Mom.

She smiles, “Thank you, Justin. How would you like to put it up on the cupboard?”

He nods his head and glances at his picture on the cupboard. He points, “Mine.” He runs off to the living room where his toys are. He sits down and dumps out his favorite blocks, “Candy.”

He reaches for the container. He twists the top but can’t open the container. He lacks fine motor skills, “Candy come.” He drops the cylinder shape but quickly picks it back up. He eventually gives up because of the safety lock.

Lynn takes a seat next to her son at the doctor’s office. She takes a book from the table and begins reading to him to calm his nerves. She gives him his stuffed animal. She feels the baby kick and places her hand where the baby is at.

“Mommy hurt.”

“The baby kicks, Sweetheart, that’s all. I will be okay. How are you and Friend doing?”

“He scared. No sleepy!”

“No sleepy medicine today! We are going to see your speech therapist today.”

Justin sits at the table in the room. He says the name of the objects on the table. He has help sounding out the words. He picks up the cup, “Cup.” He moves onto the next object. Justin practices the way each letter sounds. He is given an activity book for trying his hardest.

He plays with his toys after his appointment. Justin reaches for his horses in his cargo pants, taking them out placing them in the chair. He gives one of the horses to his mom as they wait to get his haircut. Haircuts are difficult because Justin moves around a lot. He doesn’t like people touching his head.

The barber tries to be gentle and doesn’t use scented shampoo to cause him upset. She allows Justin to have his horses, if he stays still. This seems to work. The horses distract him from the haircut.

Back at home, Justin reaches for the newspaper on the table. He holds it upside down trying to read it like his Father. He lifts up his cup and drinks the apple juice. He puts down the paper eating his chocolate chip cookie. He presses down on the treat. He wipes his hands on the napkin. He eats his cookie and heads to his room.

He moves toward the brightly covered containers with his toys and art supplies. The top container is red and has his blocks in it. The middle container is blue, and has small stuffed animals in it, and the bottom green one holds his crayons, markers and paper in different compartments of the container.

His book shelf is next to the toys and art supplies. He grasps onto the jumbo crayons and begins scribbling on the white paper at the small round blue table.

Justin stops staring at the colors. His skinny frame sways back and forth as his movements become stiff. Justin’s breathing dramatically slows as his eyes begin to shut. His body lunges forward falling on the soft flooring.

Justin’s Mom rushes into the room. She already knows what is going on. Justin is having a seizure. She gets him on his back, waiting for him to start breathing better and have him open his eyes.

Justin comes out of the seizure and begins to cry, probably from the small fall. He seems to be gasping for air as he screams.

Lynn supports Justin’s body, moving his colorless body onto his bed. She checks his body over, finding a bump on his head. It’s nothing too serious. She is more concerned about his seizure activity, fearful he will have another one.
Lynn wipes away his tears waiting for him to show signs that he is going to be okay. She listens to the sounds he makes, trying to work with his words. She talks to him soothingly about subjects that interest him. She watches as his body stiffens. His chest is barely moving up and down. She watches her son struggle with seizure in horror. When the second one is done and he is breathing better. She asks her husband to help her bring Justin downstairs.

The hospital is cold and uninviting to the autistic young man. The strong scents upset him further, as loud noises swarm around him. He cries and begins to throw a tantrum. This action doesn’t get far, as the nurse starts to talk to him. A colorful dinosaur sticker and cool character band aide makes a huge difference in his hospital stay. Coloring pages, crayons, videos all assist with keeping him comfortable.

Justin pulls an empty medication container out of his pants, “Candy.” He hands it to his mom whose heart drops into her chest.”

The question runs through her mind, “How’d he get that?” All medicines are locked up. The bottle may have been completely empty upon him finding it. She wishes Justin could tell her if he took any of the medication.

The doctor suggests a urine test to see if that drug is in his blood. The test goes smoothly and the results are indeed positive.

To remove the drug they give medicines to flush it out of his system. This is done over a long period of time.


Justin cuddles the stuffed animal. He pets the horse’s hair moving it along his bed. Justin touches the thin tube going into his nose. He pulls on it loosening the tape. His mom gently moves his hand away explaining why he needs the tube in his nose.

He grasps onto the colorful Mickey balloons. He mouths, “Mickey.” He bobs them up and down. Justin sits down in the wheelchair with his balloons. He is going to see somebody very special.

Justin claps his hands as they enter the room. He mouths, “Mickey.” He is wheeled up to Mickey Mouse.

Mickey Mouse bends down to his level, “Hello Justin. I bought you an autograph book. You let people sign it. I already signed the first page.” Mickey gives Justin Mickey merchandise for free and a photo of himself with Mickey.

Justin waves goodbye to Mickey. He is being brought back to his hospital room. He passes the Mickey book to his Mom, Mommy peeze read.”

“I’d be happy to read it, Sweetheart. What shapes are in Mickey’s picture?”

“Mommy lots! Mommy, Mickey’s the best.” He draws a picture of what he thinks Mickey looks like as his Mom reads to him. Justin scribbles with the black crayon. He practices his shapes and colors. He asks why the candy in the container is bad.
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Lynn sighs, “That was medicine. Where did you get it from?”

He tells her, “Mommy on table.”

“Next time, ask before you take. Medicine is not candy. Drugs can hurt you, Justin.”

Justin repeats what his Mom tells him. “Drugs can hurt you, Justin.” He picks up objects, “Mommy have?”

He examines a toy. He runs his hands over the textured ball. He places little balls on the Velcro area. Some areas are smooth like a counter top, others are bumpy. He picks up the felt pieces putting them on the ball to make a face. The brightly colored ball keeps him occupied while his Mom goes to get lunch.

Justin unconsciously babbles with his “b” sounds. He spins the ball on the bed, “Bull.”

Justin’s Mom returns saying the word to him, “Ball.” She teaches him a few simple words using the letter, “B.”

Justin puts the ball aside reaching for Friend. He is ready for a nap. Justin pulls at his nasal tube. He stops the action as he becomes more tired. He holds his horse tightly as his eyes shut.

His biological father stops by with Jonathan. He looks at his son in the bed leaving Jonathan to be with Justin. “I’ll be out in the hall.”

“Okay Dad.” He sits in a chair next to Justin’s bed as Lynn is close by. “When will Justin wake up?”

“He usually sleeps about an hour. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Justin comes out of his sleep slowly. His body doesn’t move much, until his senses heighten. During this time, keeping noises to a minimum is a must. The less noise the more likelihood of him becoming upset. He leans toward Jonathan and waves his hands, “Play.”

Jonathan smiles, “Sure. What do you want to play with?”

Justin shows Jonathan his Mickey Mouse toys. He tries telling Jonathan about meeting Mickey. Justin points to the man outside of the room, “Daddy bad.”

Jonathan asks, “Why is he bad?” He gives Justin plenty of time to answer.

“Daddy had you pushed. You cry Daddy.”

Jonathan shakes his head, “I’d be scared of him too! Dad did a dumb thing. I’m sorry, Justin.”

Jonathan cries into his father’s long sleeve shirt, “Dad, I don’t want you to go away, but you hurt Justin. Jail isn’t fun! I need a Dad.”

Randy sighs, “I’m sorry, Jonathan. I should pay for my crimes.”

Jonathan is devastated that his Father may be sent away to prison. Tears roll down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to lose his Dad. He’s surprised by his brother’s reaction. Justin gets off the bed and hugs him, “Sorry fault.”

Jonathan sighs, wiping away his tears. “Don’t be sorry, Justin. My Dad should be the one saying sorry to you.” He gives Justin a light hug. “I think I’ll be alright.

Later that day, Justin reads the colorful Mickey Mouse book. “Mickey Mouse happy.”

Lynn reads the sentence to him, “Mickey Mouse is happy.” She sounds out each word and lets him try.

“Mickey Mouse is happy. Mommy did I right?”

“That is correct, Justin. Soon, you’ll be reading the whole book. “

He turns the page, “Mickey sleepy. Why?”

“Mickey has to go to sleep. It is bed time for him that is why the moon is out in the picture!” She points to the moon and Mickey’s pajamas.

Justin closes the Mickey book. He sits at the edge of the hospital bed looking down at the white speckled tiles. He edges off the bed and onto the floor.

His Mom makes him get back on the bed or sit in one of the chairs to play with his toys. He does as she asks, putting his toys on the small round table and sitting in a chair. She makes sure he doesn’t do anything to his IV or the tube in his nose.

She feels the baby kicking, “Ouch.” She laughs, “This kid is a tough one.” She rubs her lower stomach, “Only a few more months, Justin, and you have a new baby sister or brother.”

Lynn has Justin draw a picture for the new baby. She tells him about what’s going to happen when she goes in labor. “Dad and I are going to have you stay with your Grandparents, while I go to the hospital. You can come see me after the baby is born. “

Justin scribbles on the paper with several colors. He thinks about what the baby will look like. He puts down his crayons and goes back to his bed. He grabs his stuffed animal carrying it over to the table. He sticks a crayon in the horse’s mouth. He moves the horse along the table. He goes back to the bed as the nurse comes in to give him more medicine.

He takes naps during the treatment so he won’t disrupt the IV line that is hooked up to the machine. Justin covers himself with the blanket and holds Friend tightly. While Justin sleeps, his Mom goes out for a bit. She will return before he wakes up.

Justin takes a ride in his blue wheelchair to the gift shop. He’s still slightly tired after his nap. He has his stuffed animal with him safely in his arms. He points to the horses.

While Justin’s in the hospital, Horse Tails has a healthy pony that Justin loves. The horse is happy to see Justin back at the barn after being gone. She rubs against Justin’s body, getting him to react.

Justin gets to name the pony. He is given many choices, but it is totally up to Justin to make a choice. He says the horse’s name, “Baby Tails.” He pets the pony, “Baby Tails pretty! Baby Tails mine.”

The disabled young man has help putting on his helmet. He walks up the ramp slowly and is assisted with getting on his horse. A side walker is on each side of him so he won’t fall. He plays games on the horse and practices some of his skills, colors, shapes, and works on feelings. The ride goes smooth. He is taken off the horse and carried down the ramp. He appears tired leaning back as one of the men holds him. He is seated in a chair, as Jonathan comes into his view.

Jonathan waves to Justin and comes over to see the new horse. He tells Justin about a contest for disabled people and their horses. The disabled person is graded on posture, how well they complete the basic task on the horse, and how the horse looks to the judges.

The next day, the sun beats down on the young man as he plays in the back yard with his gardening tools. He sits on a stool dumping soil from one bucket to another one. He puts water in his special colored cups and it comes out of one of the holes. He watches the clear liquid come out all over the ground near his sneakers. He plays with the wet sand and water for a good ten minutes before finding something new.

He touches the colorful flowers, and bends down to look at them better. He stands up and goes up to the fence seeing the sidewalk. Justin wants to play outside of the fence. He doesn’t know how to get out.

Justin goes on the porch taking out his toy horses. He lines them up and begins to mumble. He rubs his stomach, “Icky.” He places his head on the table, mouth opening wide. Justin’s monitor begins to beep. Justin acts lethargic after these episodes and needs to be brought inside. A clear mask goes on his face after his seizure to increase his alertness.

Justin is back to playing after about a half an hour. He is on the floor with his stuffed animal trying one of his puzzles. His father is with him showing him how to put the alphabet puzzle together. Justin has difficulty with where the letters go. He says the letters names in order to figure out where they go.

His father takes out Justin’s finger puppets. He has Justin pick the three he likes most and he uses three other ones. He knows Justin needs creative play. “These are pretend. We can have them live anywhere, Justin. Where should the princess live?”

Justin glances at the puppet in the pink dress, “Here.” He moves his hand up and down, “Daddy, don’t like this.”

He studies his son’s face, “Okay. We will try something else.” He puts away the puppets, “How about you draw a picture of the princess and where she lives?”

“Okay, Daddy.” He scribbles on a blank piece of paper with his blue crayon. He shows his Dad the paper, sitting back down on the wood floor. “Daddy, where Mommy?”

“Your Mom went shopping for the baby. She will be back in about three hours.”

Justin nods his head as he fools with his sneakers. He ties them than unties them. He repeats this action several times before moving onto a new venture.

He gets his stuffed animal, cuddling Friend, as his nap time nears. He rubs his blue eyes and heads toward his bedroom. He rests his head on the pillow. Now, is the best time to bring Justin to the doctors.

His Dad brings him to the car with Friend. He monitors him from the driver’s seat, as he sleeps. He places Justin in the wheelchair since it will be near impossible to get him into the doctor’s office any other way. He straps his son in the wheelchair, wheeling Justin into the office.

While he’s sleeping the doctors give him more medication to ensure he won’t wake up. They want to see the activity in his brain after his seizures and why lately he’s requires oxygen afterward. They think the drug may still be causing damage to his system. They stick him with a needle in his arm, and administer the drug. His doctor places an oxygen mask on Justin’s face. They move Justin into the MRI scan. The procedure last about an hour. The doctor can tell Justin’s brain waves are functioning improperly and he may need a different kind of medicine to treat his seizures. Justin is gently placed back in the wheelchair with restraints since he’s sedated.

His Mom meets her husband at the office where Justin is sedated. They walk and talk as Justin sleeps. They have to stay at the office until Justin wakes up from his procedure.

Justin wakes holding Friend. He pets the horse, sleepily. He has to be drinking before they’ll let him leave. He drinks a juice box, and they remove his IV. He is wheeled out to the car still acting tired. His parents get him comfortable for the trip home.

Lynn stays with Justin in his room, as the baby kicks. She focuses on her son, tending to his needs. She watches him sleep from the medication. “Shhh…….. It’s alright, Justin. I’m right here.” She makes sure he knows his stuffed animal is there with him.

Justin wakes much later, grabbing his stuffed toy. He talks to Friend who eases Justin’s worries. He gets off of the bed with Friend and on to his floor.

Justin opens up the drawer pulling out a favorite tee-shirt and wind pants. He gets dressed to the best of his ability and goes downstairs with Friend. He sets Friend in his chair, as he grabs the colorful cereal box on the counter. He grasps onto his no breakable blue bowl and brings it to the table. He pours the milk which is in a special container so Justin can’t spill it as easily. Justin takes a seat next to Friend, “Mommy, Daddy sleepin, and Friend. Mommy’s no noise.” He eats the cereal and puts the bowl in the sink.

He finds his favorite blocks and dumps them on the floor, not realizing how noisy it will be. “No sound, Mommy, Daddy mad.” He picks up the blocks, keeping Friend close by.

Justin’s Grandmother walks into the living room, “Hello Justin.”

Justin turns around, “Grammy, where Mommy?”

She smiles bending down, “She went to the hospital. She is going to have the baby soon. Then you will have a brother or sister.”

Justin goes back to his playing not understanding why he has to be with his Grandparents. He is more interested in his blocks than anything. While he plays, his Grandmother attaches his monitor so it’ll be easy to track where he is and seizure activity.

Justin will be going over to his Grandparents house for a few days. His parents have picked out outfits that they think Justin may like to wear while he is with his Grandparents, knowing they might not be able to make those choices for him when the time came. A bag with his medicine is already packed and anything else he may require.


The warm sun hits Justin’s curls, lightening their brownish color, as he tips over the juice container in his Grandparents yard. Tears fall from his cheeks giving his Grandma his napkin, “Sorry Granny.” He gets up from his chair with his stuffed animal, and sits on the edge of the porch. His grandmother plops down beside him, as his head rests on his arms, so she can’t see his tears.

She coos, “It’ll be okay, Justin. It was an accident. How about we ride the swing?” He raises his head nodding slowly. She gently moves a few strands of his hair back from his eyes, before they walk over to the swing.

Justin touches the felt padding on the swing as he takes a seat next to his Grandmother, still teary-eyed. He brings Friend to his face, “like Friend?”

“Of course I like your horse.”

Justin points to the fabric, and then cuddles Friend, No Granny! This like!”

“Yes, they are similar, Justin. That was a nice comparison. You’re growing up so fast!” She smiles petting Justin’s horse, “You really love him. Don’t you?”

He hugs the stuffed animal, “Granny, he Friend.” He places his head on Friend’s back. “No like Friend. He nice others mean! Friend listens! He there!”

She sighs touched at how Justin is so attached to the stuffed animal and why he considers it his friend.

Justin rearranges the blocks inside on the flooring putting them in different configurations lining them up. He mimics the sounds of the objects that would make sounds. The dinosaur is the most popular with Justin. He spins the block and watches it land. He crawls on the wood floor to retrieve his block. He makes his way back to his blocks. While he is playing, his Grandmother gives him his medication that’ll make him require a nap.

He sleeps on a bed with a pillow and Friend close by. He wakes up crying but falls back to sleep after his Grandmother talks to him in a gentle tone. He has another crying episode where he needs reassurance.

Justin snuggles the stuffed toy in the car. He is going to see his Mom and Dad. He sits with his Grandmother in the back of the car, reading the book about babies. Justin asks what he can do to help his Mom and Dad. His Grandmother tells him picking up his toys and trying to be quiet.

The woman at the front desk glances at Justin, frowning as she looks at the two elderly people with him. “I’m sorry, He can’t go in. He may cause trouble.”

Justin lowers his head turning in his Grandmother’s direction as the woman says more mean things towards him. He cuddles the horse saying, ‘Mommy and Daddy.”

His Grandmother tries to comfort him, “You’ll see them again. I promise. You’re not stupid, Justin.” She wipes away the tears forming in his eyes. His Grandparents argue with the woman about letting Justin see his Mom and Dad. She turns around and Justin’s nowhere to be found!

His eyes wander around the long white hallway. He hides behind a bed trembling at the loud noises of the hospitals. The phones alone scare him, as they ring hurting his ears. Justin weeps bringing Friend closer to him, “Friend help.” He closes his eyes, Friend where Mommy?” He gets up taking off down the hallway frightened by the unfamiliar sounds. Justin keeps walking, jumping at each noise wearing him out.

He slides down into a corner peering down at his sneakers, “Undone. You do.” He ties his shoelace, and leans his head against the wall. He sees a woman in white come towards him and covers his head with Friend.

She bends down to Justin lightly pulling away his stuffed animal. “I won’t harm you. I promise. How about you come with me into that room?”

Justin nods his head following her to the room. He sits on the hospital bed with Friend still frightened. He presses down on the pony.

She smiles sitting down in a chair, “What is your name?”

He responds slowly, “Justin.”

“Hello Justin. It is nice to meet you. What is the name of your pony?’

“He Friend. He goes everywhere me!”

“That is sweet he is your best buddy. Do you know where your Mom and Dad are?”

“Mommy have baby. Granny here me.”

“What is your last name?”

“Mommy say Harless.”

“I’m going to try to find your Mom and Dad. I am going to call on my cell phone where your Mom might be. “

The woman calls the maternity ward asking if anybody is missing their mentally disabled twenty something year old son. She is happy to find out she has found somebody’s child and can bring him back to them.

“Did you ride the elevator to this floor?”

Justin nods his head, “I scared. “

“It is alright. The hospital isn’t really scary. What scares you?”

Justin points to the phones, covering his ears, “No.”

“We will stay away from the phones. Does anything else frighten you?” He doesn’t answer interested in the large bear he didn’t notice before sitting on the floor. She laughs at his infatuation with the stuffed animal.

Justin presses the button on the elevator, and looks at the waterfall below, “Pretty.” He sees lots of animals as they go up to the maternity ward. He runs up to his Grandparents after getting off the elevator. He asks, as his blue eyes water, “Can I see Mommy?”

His Grandmother sighs, “I’m sorry Sweetheart. They won’t let you.”

Justin sits down in a chair laying his head on the pony crying hard. His body shakes as he breathes loudly. He screams, “Mommy, Daddy”, not understanding why they can’t hear him.

A familiar young boy’s voice comes from the hallway. The youngster’s laughter stops at the sight of his upset friend. He’s there with his Mom. His Mom’s friend gave birth yesterday to a little boy.

Justin doesn’t move, soaking the stuffed animal. His golden brown curls mold to his head from the tears. He lifts his head, “Jonathan.”

“Hey Justin, how is Friend doing?”

Justin replies, “Friend sad missing Mommy and Daddy.” He wipes away his tears. He points at the lady at the desk, “She mean won’t let see dem! You see Mommy?”

“I’m sorry Justin that is not fair. I saw my Mom’s friend. She had a baby boy.” He gets Justin to stop crying, for a little while. He interacts with Justin playing with his horses as his Grandparents visit with Lynn and her husband.